Humor Quotes

We’ll never survive! Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.

We’ll never survive! Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.
William Goldman

I love new clothes. If everyone could just wear new clothes everyday, I reckon d...

I love new clothes. If everyone could just wear new clothes everyday, I reckon depression wouldn’t exist anymore.
Sophie Kinsella

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
Groucho Marx

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
George Bernard Shaw

I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like peop...

I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
Mark Twain

You should try not to talk so much, friend. You'll sound far less stupid that wa...

You should try not to talk so much, friend. You'll sound far less stupid that way. - Breeze
Brandon Sanderson

The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.

The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.
Kurt Vonnegut

She's the sort of woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their...

She's the sort of woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their hunted expression.
C.S. Lewis

Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
Dorothy Parker