As long as we don't die, this is gonna be one hell of a story.
That wasn't any act of God. That was an act of pure human fuckery.
have i gone mad? im afraid so, but let me tell you something, the best people usualy are.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
They slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered.
Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world's original sin. If the cave-man had known how to laugh, History would have been different.
Are you always a smartass?' Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep.
As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?
To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.
Sometimes you remind me a lot of James. He called it my 'furry little problem' in company. Many people were under the impression that I owned a badly behaved rabbit.
Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they'd lock us up? All the time.
Meow means woof in cat.
I like men who have a future and women who have a past.
The world is a stage and the play is badly cast.
Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.
The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon.
Write what you know. That should leave you with a lot of free time.
Résumé Razors pain you, Rivers are damp, Acids stain you, And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful, Nooses give, Gas smells awful. You might as well live.
It takes a lot of time to be a genius. You have to sit around so much, doing nothing, really doing nothing.
Puns are the highest form of literature.