I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
So many books, so little time.
Ginny! said Mr. Weasley, flabbergasted. Haven't I taught you anything? What have I always told you? Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain?
Black holes are where God divided by zero.