I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
It's hard to enjoy practical jokes when your whole life feels like one.
A diary with no drawings of me in it? Where are the torrid fantasies? The romance covers?
The longer and more carefully we look at a funny story, the sadder it becomes.
You're an idiot. I've never claimed to be otherwise.
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
I don't want tea, said Clary, with muffled force. I want to find my mother. And then I want to find out who took her in the first place, and I want to kill them. Unfortunately, said Hodge, we're all out of bitter revenge at the moment, so it's either tea or nothing.
It's not gray, Clary felt compelled to point out. It's green. If there was such a thing as terminal literalism, you'd have died in childhood, said Jace.
I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.
I thought I'd lie on the floor and writhe in pain for a while, he grunted, It relaxes me. It does? Oh - you're being sarcastic. That's a good sign probably.
Because you can't argue with all the fools in the world. It's easier to let them have their way, then trick them when they're not paying attention.
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.
From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!
Beautiful face. Beautiful body. Horrible attitude. It was the holy trinity of hot boys.
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
Dreams like a podcast, Downloading truth in my ears. They tell me cool stuff. Apollo? I guess, because I figured nobody else could make a haiku that bad. He put his finger to his lips. I'm incognito. Call me Fred. A god named Fred?
I'll just have them change the entry in the demonology textbook from 'almost extinct' to 'not extinct enough for Alec. He prefers his monsters really, really extinct.' Will that make you happy?
Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.
Your friend's poetry is terrible, he said. Clary blinked, caught momentarily off guard. What? I said his poetry was terrible. It sounds like he ate a dictionary and started vomiting up words at random.